last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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