If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
