1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
True strength comes from lack of pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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