pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
There's even glitter on my cock...
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