Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
