If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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