No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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