i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
