So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
