Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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