i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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