woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
