Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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