So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize