she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
