Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
