you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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