I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Welp...herpes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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