This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
