He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
