Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
