I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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