I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
