I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
