are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
