Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you never un-have a 4some
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We're hate flirting, damnit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize