Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
