Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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