dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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