I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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