So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
