someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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