the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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