Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
