Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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