Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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