His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
