i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would fuck him just for his dog
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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