So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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