It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
