I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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