Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
