Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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