he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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