All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
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Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i need some magic done to my vagina
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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