I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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