Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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