The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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