playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
