now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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