Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
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I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize