My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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