yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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