Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
