Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
