a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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