Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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